Tell me how am I supposed to breath with no air?

Sometimes things make my heart hurt like it is hard to breath. I don't know if it hurts just because it is so sad or if feels so crushing because I don't know what to do about it. I have felt this most acutely about Proposition 8.

I know that since I have grown up in California, I am seen by many people in Utah as liberal or feminist. I don't feel that I am liberal or conservative. I feel like I am middle ground. It has been a little bit of a journey to get to where I am today on many issues and prop 8 is the same in this regard. I am now in a place where when i think about it not being passed it is hard to breathe.

As I think about how this world is changing, how we are losing sight of morals and starting to destroy ourselves, it makes me sick. I think about the struggles of raising a child now and in the future. Will I be able to do it? How do you teach morals in and amoral world?

I don't know how people can make choices that obviously don't make them happy and will never be able to make them happy? It makes me sick to think about people who hate themselves so much that they will hurt themselves. I want to cry when i think of girls who feel like they aren't important if they don't have a man to fulfill them. I don't know what to do with myself when I see people who are so unhappy that they turn to drugs or alcohol to make them better.

We all can be happy. The savior will take our pain away, we just have to let him. There is a life of happiness and joy that is available to everyone if we simply partake. Why is that so hard?

Hopes and dreams are shattering apart and crashing to the ground.

Today I was watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog again. I really enjoy this movie and it is one of the very first movies that I have watched and wanted to own it. There are so many reasons that I want to own it. I really like the fact that it is a musical and that it is comical. I think my favorite part is the fact that it gives me lots of things to think about.

This is the first weekend in a long time where I am feeling pretty good about the homework status. I have loads to do this week but I am confident I will get it all done. And the best part about this week is that it ends with Halloween!!! Yay!!

I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried.

One of my favorite things about life and people is those moments in life when someone says something nice to you and it sort of sticks with you. I truly believe that it is important to compliment people when you think the compliment and that it shouldn't matter how well you know this person as long as it is true.

I have found that on those occasions when people say something nice to me out of the blue, I appreciate it more. For instance, this week a friend of my roommate who I have met before was over at our house and I came home and we were chatting for a minute when she said, "I like you." It is a simple comment but it was a reminder that I have worth and that I have talents that other people value.

I personally value honesty. So, why do i feel like as a society we build up barriers between ourselves and those around us? Why is it so hard to be honest?

I guess the point is this, I am an honest person and I am pretty blunt about it. So, if I hurt your feelings I am sorry, most likely it was unintentional. I would hope for your forgiveness but it is yours to give. I hope someday that we will be able to communicate openly and freely with each other.

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?

Since it is close to the election there is a frenzy of political banter. I have friends who are passionate in both directions and I identify with certain parts of both sides. I don't really want to write about how I stand or really about politics at all.

I was thinking about all the things that have been happening recently: how the US government is being run, how the economy is collapsing, how Iceland is broke, how people are starving and why the world is not getting better.

I can't stand watching the world dissolve around me as I sit here writing a silly blog post. It makes me so sad to think that I have power to make other people's lives better and I choose not to.

Sometimes I think about what it would be like to have a world where everyone realized that the best way to be happy is to make other people happy. What if we all shared what we had? What if we cared about what happened to not just our friends but also our enemies? What if we were Christians? What if we truly followed Christ? What would that world look like? Would there be peace? Would there be love? Would there be as much suffering?

I truly believe that I have the power to change things. Whether or not that means I change the world or if I just give a little love to the people needing love. I believe everyone can change the world if they decide they want to.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love....

Essentially Random Comments on Life

I find that epiphanies about life happen to me when I least expect them. There are a few things I have learned about myself this week.

1) I know that I am in my right major. I have been doing poorly on my tests recently but I realized that I know I am learning in all of my classes even if my grades aren't reflecting that. I love the people I know and the classes I am taking. I am so happy where I am.

2) I have a lot of work to make up and I have been handling it without too much stress. My roommate is stressed out and she mentioned to me that i should be way more stressed out about life than she is. As soon as she said that I have become way more stressed. That makes me very unhappy.

3) I have come to the realization that i want to be better and that comes from setting goals and a schedule to get it all done. I need to work on that.

I am so happy that Wednesday is over and I only have a few more days until the weekend. I am super excited to have time off and get to relax a little.

Have a great week and weekend!

Bags!!

Most people know this about me but I am a huge bag junkie. Well, they are giving away free bags so if you want one, click here.

Have a great day!

Open the gates and seize the day!

I love my roommates. A lot. The best part about living with my roommates is that most of the time I don't feel like i am judged on who I am by what I do. I feel very safe at home. That is a good thing.

I also love my roommates because they are super crazy. Just to illustrate, a few examples:

1) We decided to decorate our family room. Originally it was going to be Surviver themed with Tiki torches and stuff but when we moved in a picture of the Arc de Triomphe. So we realized that lots of us have foreign things. So, the theme of our appartment is Around the World. Our room is crazy full of stuff. It is pretty intense.

2) Like any normal apartment, we have a quote board. Except it is more like a quote wall. We took 40 pieces of paper and made a giant multicolored patchwork wall where we now post all the funny things we say on it. We will definatly fill the wall by the time we are done with the 8 months we are living here. that's kind of crazy.

3) We are planning the most amazing Halloween costumes ever. I don't think i will talk about it now but I am sure i will talk about it later.

I am so glad I am living with these girls. They make me smile :)

heldumst í hendur

I know I talk about Icelandic all the time and very few people understand my obsession, but this weekend I had an Icelandic overdose and I am over the moon about Iceland and Icelandic. This weekend i went to the Sigur Rós concert. I was standing there with my ex-roommate who takes Icelandic with me and our former Icelandic teacher and we listened to these songs that are Iceland.

To be honest, I could write and write about the concert and i will never be able to express the joy that filled my soul as i sat there and listened to this music that has changed my life. Just watch Heima and know that I felt like i was one of the people in that movie.

One thing that did come of it was i know that I want my children to speak icelandic. It would be easier if i married someone who was Icelandic or spoke Icelandic, but I won't be that picky. I really want my children to call my parents amma and afi and to say things in Icelandic, so, they will. The End.

Oh, but becuse I want my children to speak icelandic, my friends have a joke about me wanting lots of Icelandic Babies. Who doesn't?