I was in choir when I was in high school. It is one of the things I miss most about high school. I suppose I could join a choir at the Y but it wouldn't be the same. We weren't just a choir, we were family. The friends I have from choir are some of the best friends I have and today I miss them horribly.
I was looking through my music today and I found some of the recordings of the songs I sang in choir. We weren't fabulous but we were pretty dang good. As I listen to the music I realized that it has be a really long time since I have invested that much emotion into music.
It hurts terribly sometimes that high school is over. It is not that I don't love college but it is good in a different way. I will never develop the same kind of relationships with people in the same ways I did in high school. I will never have that same kind of experiences and that kills me.
I think what hurts the most is that I am a different person when I am at the Y and i don't know if that is a good thing. Why can't I be that ridiculous girl I used to be? Why do I let the stupid pressures of BYU get to me? I have lost my focus and I haven't even realized it. I want to be myself again!
Split pea soup with salt lamb - Saltkjöt og baunir
11 months ago
1 comment:
(I feel like responding a lot because I'm supposed to be writing a paper :)...)
I don't know--you still seem pretty ridiculous to me :-P. Like your performance of Newsies numbers on campus...that was truly great :).
It's not all bad to change, although if you think you are doing it because of peer pressure, then I would agree that it is somewhat sad. The truth is, though, that we are growing up, and as our responsibilities increase and our experiences change, we can't expect ourselves to stay the same.
I miss music, too. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never be as involved in it at any point in my life as I was in high school. Even with as much as I hated band and Mr. Kelly most of the time, music enriched my life in ways I can't adequately express. I don't miss high school because I didn't exactly have the best experiences there, but I can attest to the fact that the relationships you develop in college are different. They are still close and worthwhile, but my high school friends will be lifelong, and I'm not sure I can say the same about the friends I've made at BYUH, despite the many good times we've had.
That being said, I've learned not to be sad about that fact. Too many people have come and gone in my life, and I can still appreciate the high quality of relationships I have with people I knew in high school (hey, I guess you kinda count too).
You never know--joining choir at school might end up producing the same caliber of friendships you experienced before. If not choir, maybe you could replace it with something else that will become equally as meaningful with time.
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