Why haven't I done these?

I found this in my email. I don't know why I haven't done this before. I am a little sad I didn't remember about this email because I think my roommates this year would have been good participants this semester. My favorite are the last three. Hmmm...where can I get traffic signs?

How to Confuse your Roommate.

1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."

2. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.

3. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug the toaster in. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire-safety hazards.

4. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going away to "find yourself." Leave, and come back in about ten minutes. If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man to find.

5. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.

6. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."

7. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.

8. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.

9. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

10. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If he/she refuses, insist that he/she do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more." Ü