My life would suck without you.

I usually don't listen to podcasts. However, I have recently come across a website that has caught my attention. The website is called What You Ought to Know. They do these little video segments where they talk about a specific topic. The topics range from Duct tape to the war in Iraq. The best part is that it is informative as well as funny.

everyone should check it out!

Apologies

It has come to my attention that I have been slacking as a bloger. I know Elisa, I will try to make it up to you. It has also come to my attention that I can write posts and then set the time I want them to be published (aka in the future). This means that I can write lots of posts one day and spread the pubishing out for a few. That is the best thing since sliced bread. (okay, maybe that is not true).

I feel like right now a lot of people are having a hard time determining the purpose of their blog. I'm finding that I am having a hard time with that right now. One of my friends does lists of why she loves someone or something. I really like that but I don't want to steal that from her.

Recently, my blog has been more about my life but I get a little nervous about posting so much information about myself on the internet just open to anyone. Plus, I'm not really a writer. I'm a physics major for heaven's sake! We aren't really known for our writing abilities. That is part of the reason I wanted to start writing a blog. I figure if I practice writing even in an informal way, I will become a better writer. I'm not sure if this is successful.

I do have a lot of stories to tell. Maybe I should work on telling them. That was what my blog was sort of becoming a little while ago. I will keep pondering the reasons I am writing and maybe I will have an epiphany.

I'm back!

So, it has been a while and I was really hoping that I would update a lot this summer because after that I will be gone for a very long time and my blog will probably sit pretty idle. That makes me super sad. How long will my blog be saved if I am not using it? That's a sad thought. Hopefully a while.

So, I am reading North and South by Elizabeth Gaskill. I am LOVING it. I am still trying to figure out why I like books of that period so much. Especially since the way that the couples "fall in love" is so superficial. However, watching the BBC version of this book is super yummy. I saw Richard Armitage in Robin Hood and he looks even better in North and South.

Anyway, I should stop with my long list of yummy men who are in movies. Nothing really exciting is happening here except I am now being trained to be a server at Rok. We'll see how I do at serving.

I'm not sure what else I should write about except I am supposed to finish telling about my trip to New York. Hmmm.... Maybe I should get on that.

mmm...food.

So, I feel like I should write a post centered on food. I love food. I am curently working at a restaurant and I eat so I am around food a good portion of my day. Although, my attitudes about the food I am around are constantly changing.

It's actually really bad that I love it so much because sometimes I have a hard time balancing my caloric intake. However, I am trying to redifine my relationship to food which I think is important. I believe that the American people have a very bad attitude toward food and that is one of the BIG reasons that we are an obease, unhappy, unhealthy nation. This is also why the diet industry is huge.

The first thing I realized is that I don't listen to my body enough when I am preparing to eat. My body knows what it is lacking and I should satisfy that need. If I don't, I end up eating lots of calories trying to fill the void but end up constantly disappointed and hundreads of calories over what I need.

I also realized that we have a terrible obsession with meat. We are producing more greenhouse gasses by eating so much meat than we do from cars. The Word of Wisdom says we are supposed to eat meat sparingly. Eating meat at every meal is NOT sparingly. I also know people who are becoming vegetarians or vegans. It's not good to do that either. We need meat for certain nutrients that can't be replaced by other foods.

Also, one of the biggest problems is over eating. We have huge portions of food and we eat the whole thing. We are trained to think that we need to eat all the food in front of us. That is VERY unhealthy. It is bad to be wasteful but we don't have to overendulge to not be wasteful. I just wish we were better about food.

There's only 1 way 2 say 3 words...

By request, I am going to tell a little about my trip to New York. This will probably be a few posts of an update. I went to my cousin's wedding in New York but my family went for a whole week since we have never gone to New England as a family.

We got there Saturday night and drove from JFK to Scranton, Pennsylvania. We spent the night there. We did not go to Dunder Mifflin but we did go to church there. It was kind of a weird sacrament meeting and it was SUPER hot in the chapel. We also got lost on the way to the church, which was kind of a reoccurring theme of our trip. The rest of that Sunday we spend driving to Palmyra, New York and looking at the sites there.

We first went to the Grandin Building and saw how The Book of Mormon was published originally. It was really interesting and I learned a lot. Then we drove to the Smith Farm and the Sacred Grove. It was really cool to be in the places where the church was restored. The Sacred Grove was beautiful and very quiet when my siblings weren't being loud and whiney.

These are some of the pictures I took of the Sacred Grove.






















We then called it a day and grabbed some dinner and then some ice cream at a place called Brad and Dad's. The ice cream was delicious and some of the best ice cream I have ever had.

To be continued...

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears...

So, tomorrow is my birthday and as far as I know, it is going to be the same old, same old lameness. I have gotten to a point in my life where I usually don't end up in tears on my birthday espeically now that I go to BYU and I am usually home for the summer when my birthday occurs (aka, friendless). Plus, two of my friends are leaving tomorrow. (well, one of my friends is leaving Chicago to go to France, so she wasn't really close by anyway, but still...)

I don't mean to sound whiny or complainy or heartless. Mostly, I don't really get the big deal with birthdays. Yay, it's a day to celebrate ourselves! That seems a little self centered to me. And it is a time for people to show how much they appreciate you. Well, I generally find that people show how much they love you spontenously and in ways that mean more than the obligation of a gift on your birthday.

I feel this same way about Valentines day. Why on earth should I celebrate the love I have for someone on a day dictated by "the world?" The nicest things people have done for me or said to me have not happened on my birthday or valentines day, they happen randomly.

Who doesn't like a little random?

Oh, and I think I am getting sick. But I had fun at my cousin's wedding which I will update about a little later.

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?

So, I have come to a realization. This may not be something that surprised most of the people who know me but it was something that I had never realized about myself. It appears that I am very expressive even when I don't know that I am being expressive. I have had people tell me that I look scared when I didn't realize that I was scared.

I know that I have a very expressive face because of what people have told me as I have grown up but I guess I always thought that I could hide how I feel fairly well. I guess not. I guess I am more of an open book than I realized. And apparently I am very scared of a lot of things. Actually, that was something I already knew about myself.

I think the most fascinating things is to know what other people think of me. I'm not talking about what my friends and family think because they see me for the person I am. I wonder what people automatically assume about me when they first look at me. Am I pretty? Do I look friendly? Do I look snobby? Do I look like I am smart? Do I look like I am scared? Do I look stupid? The problem is that once I am close enough to someone to ask them what they thought about me, I usually don't remember what I thought and neither do they.

oh, well...

If I could make all the mountains, spell your name...

I really love this YouTube video. I think it is because right now, this song is sort of the theme song of my life and I absolutely ADORE this movie. There is something about North and South and Pride and Prejudice that gets me everytime.

Speaking of Pride and Prejudice, I have been thinking a lot about why the general male population does not like Pride and Prejudice. I am trying to figure out what makes me like it so much, but it is hard to quantify my reasoning. I think part of it is that I identify with Elizabeth. Also, I like to talk a lot and I think I feel the tention of the words.

I was talking to my friend and he said he didn't like Austen's books because he felt like nothing happened. Maybe they appeal to me because I can build things up on my own. I don't need things to happen to feel suspense, I can get that from reading the words.

Any ideas why many girls love the book but a lot of guys hate it?

I wanted to write you a verse....

I love to read. I espeically love the summer because I get to read more than I usually do during the year. I decided to write a post listing all the books I want to read this summer because I do better when I have a list I can add to and check things off with.

Also, devoted readers, I LOVE reading suggestions. So, if you know of books you think I should read, let me know and I will submit them to the reading council ;)

Books to read this summer (in no particular order):

1. Book of Mormon (maybe in Icelandic as well)
2. North and South by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell
3. Mansfeild Park by Jane Austen
4. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
5. Emma by Jane Austen
6. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
7. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
8. The Book Theif by Markus Zusak
9. Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens
10. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorn
11.  The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
12. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
    
13. Animal Farm by George Orwell
    
14. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
    
15. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
    
16. Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
    
17. The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
    
18. Notre-Dame of Paris (The Hunchback of Notre-Dame) by Victor Hugo
    
19. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
    
20. A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
    
21. Chocolat by Joanne Harris
22. The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

Books read: 0

Books to read: 22

Most of these books are from the challenge I took last year and I never got around to reading. Let's see if that is different this year. I would REALLY love suggestions though.

Suddenly I see, this is what I want to be!

I haven't written in a few days. I was doing so well. I have had a tab with an empty post open for quite a few days but I haven't thought of anything good to say.

When i grabbed my scriptures today, all the stuff in them fell out. As I was putting all the little inserts and handouts back in my scriptures, I realized that I have a lot of stuff from YW that has to do with going to the temple. I saw this stuff and realized the goal of going to the temple was soon going to be a reality. I have been super excited about this milestone in my life but it was weird to think about how long I have been "preparing" myself to achieve this goal.

Anyway, I have a part time job working at my parent's restaurant but I won't start working there until after I return from New York. I am TOTALLY excited for this trip. I am nostly excited to have tons of new pictures to choose from for my new profile picture on facebook. Yeah, I know, I'm a dork. Oh, and my cousin is getting married. WHOOHOO!!!

Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone.

I have been whining on my blog a lot about how much I miss my friends in Provo. Well, things are looking up for you my dedicated readers. Today, I spent about ten hours with a friend of mine. It was really nice to catch up and talk about all the things we have never talked about.

We also went and saw the Star Trek movie. It was REALLY good. I totally recommend it to anyone. It is not just a movie for those who are Star Trek lovers. Everyone will enjoy this film. I found that it was suspenseful and full of surprises without being too dirty or crude.

On a totally unrealated note, I was thinking about how hard it was for me to come home this year from school and it gave me more perspective on how hard it is for missionaries to return home. That doesn't make me very excited to come home from the mission I'm not even on. WEIRD!

White and nerdy

Sometimes I am such a nerd. I really want to go see star trek the new movie. It looks really good and it has gotten really good ratings. So, hopefully I will get to see it soon.

Spurred by the desire to see the Star Trek movie, I started learning about the Star Trek series. I am now in the process of watching the first Star Trek series. Yeah, I know, I am such a nerd. Well, I guess it is more surprising that I am not a closet trekie. My dad watched star trek and my dad and I watched Stargate and Dr Who together. I guess this was inevitable.

Well, if anyone cares, you can watch all of Star Trek: the original series on CBS. I think they are remastered or something. Anyway, I am not sure how I feel about them yet. I mean, they are no Stargate (hee hee hee). Actually, they are really fun to watch because it is "in the future" but the tools are archaic looking compared to the tools of sci-fi movies and tv shows today. I know it is to be expected but I still think it is funny.

I am not sure if I will be converted to a trekie but I think it is to late for me as far as becoming a nerd. Oh well, I like being nerdy. It means I can say things that are really nerdy and not feel weird about it.

All of the people start to rush, start to rush by...

I really don't have the energy to think of something and write about it today, so I am going to do this "survey." Sorry if you don't care. It is more for me to see what cool stuff I have done. I've bolded all the things that I have done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (I don't think our roommate band counts)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dippin
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (I've been to Sweeden, I'm counting that)
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing 
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. One cavity or less

What a to do to die today at a minute or two to two.

I was going to write my passing out (in light of my apparent medical theme) story on here today, but it is going to be a SUPER long post and I don't really want to right now. Instead, I will write a whole lot of nonsense today.

Right now, I am looking for good Bollywood movies. I really want to find this one movie that I saw pieces of at my friend's apartment. I can't find it. I don't remember the name all I know is that there was a guy who went to a school for boys and he fell in love with the schoolmaster's daughter. Something happens and she dies. He leaves but comes back later and tricks the schoolmaster into letting him teach at the school. The teacher starts to stir things up.

That's as far as I got. I REALLY want to know the title so I can find it. If anyone has any idea, let me know.

I really don't want to get a job. No, I really don't want to keep looking for a job. Finding a job is hard and since I haven't had the greatest jobs the past few summers, it is really hard for me to find the motivation to go and find a job. Oh, well...

My poor little head...

I am a pretty healthy person, but I have had quite a few strange medical experiences. Last night, I was talking with my family and one of my stories came up and I thought I would share it.

It was Thanksgiving quite a few years ago. We were having a big Thanksgiving dinner at our house and I think we were having a dutch oven thanksgiving dinner. All the kids were playing outside (it's November in California so of course we were playing outside).

My friend, Megan, and I were fighting with my sister for some reason. We went out to the front yard and my sister locked us out. We knew we could get back into the house if we simply hopped the fence. I was a lot shorter then and hoping fences is not really my strongest suit.

So, we went over to the side of the house by the fence and obviously noticed that I wasn't going to be able to get over the fence without some sort of step to help me up. I noticed some bricks around the base of the little palm tree in our yard and decided that I would use the bricks to get up.

BAD idea. It turns out, the palm tree had grown around the bricks and from what I can tell, the tree had actually incorporated the brick into itself. So, I was sitting there trying to detach the brick from the tree and I leaned in to get better leverage and the tree decided to attack. One of the palm leaves decided it would be fun to stick itself into my head, so it did.

My head started bleeding (it really was a minor injury) but since I freak out when I see blood, I started freaking out. I ran to the door and started banging trying to get someone to let me in. According to my sister, she was inside and my mom asked her who was at the door. She replied that i was at the door and then my mom asked if I was okay. My sister said yes and walked away.

Eventually, my mom answered my door banging and I was bandaged up. I was fine and I don't even think that I have a scar from it. However, how many people can say they have been stabbed by a palm tree? (okay, maybe a lot more than I think)

I guess the moral of this story is that I am smart enough to get myself in trouble.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for Ice Cream!

I don't date much and I have never had a boyfriend. It's not a big deal to me but it is to some of the people in my life.

I have this really good friend with whom I went to high school. She has also never had a boyfriend. We would friend-fight about it all the time. So, we made a bet. We bet that the other person would get a boyfriend first. The loser had to get ice cream for the winner.

Well, I WON!!! I got my ice cream last night and got to meet my friend's boyfriend. It was delicious. The best part of the whole deal is that my friend told her boyfriend that she had this bet going and that she wasn't sure if she wanted to be his girlfriend. He said, "well, I'll pay for her ice cream." That's how he won her :)

The thing is, I am not sure if I really got the better deal....

Girls are so silly

I am sure this is not news to anyone but I thought I would state it again. Here's a little back story. I like to read. I read most anything. There is only one book that I absolutely hated and didn't finish and I think I should go back and read it again.

Anyway, the books of choice right now in my household are cheesy LDS romance novels. Since I am lazy and we have two shelves full of them I end up reading a few when I am home. Plus, they are so easy to read I get through them in no time.

I was reading one of these books today and I started going crazy because the main girl is so silly and because these books are so unrealistic. Maybe I am just as silly as other girls are and I am trying to pretend like I am not, however, I get frustrated when these girls assume things and get themselves all worked into a tizzy when nothing is wrong in the first place.

Secondly, these books are what single girls run to because they are full of romance and love but that is so not real life. There is no guy out there who always brings chocolates to a girl every time he sees her. As great as that would be, I would feel really silly if a guy gave me presents all the time and i just acted like a silly girl and freaked out about everything.

I hope this post doesn't sound bitter. I just think that a lot of what is wrong about relationships and marriage comes from unrealistic expectations. It kills me a little that people get divorced after only being married a few years over silly things. Just a reminder to everyone, marriage is NOT a solution and it is NOT easy.

If marriage were easy it would not have such great rewards. It is the greatest challenge in this life which is why it has the greatest reward in the life to come. Doesn't that make sense?

Why haven't I done these?

I found this in my email. I don't know why I haven't done this before. I am a little sad I didn't remember about this email because I think my roommates this year would have been good participants this semester. My favorite are the last three. Hmmm...where can I get traffic signs?

How to Confuse your Roommate.

1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."

2. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.

3. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug the toaster in. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire-safety hazards.

4. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going away to "find yourself." Leave, and come back in about ten minutes. If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man to find.

5. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.

6. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."

7. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.

8. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.

9. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

10. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If he/she refuses, insist that he/she do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more." Ü

Just keep swimming...

I was watching the amazing race a few nights ago and one of the challenges was a choice between swimming a 400 relay with your teammate (aka a 200 each) or doing synchronized diving. What surprised me the most about this episode was how afraid of the water one of the participants was. That is so bizarre to me.

I have grown up loving to swim. When I was little we lived near my great uncle and every night during the summer we would swim in his pool and sometimes eat over there. I love the water! In fact, for most of my life I have secretly wanted to be a mermaid.

That love never died which is why I played water polo in high school. Even today, my favorite form of exercise is to swim. I can't wait for it to be warm enough for me be able to swim in my parent's pool this summer.

I have also decided what I should have been doing all my life. I want to learn how to do synchronized swimming. It involved my two vary favorite things, water and theatre/dance. How much more perfect could that be?

Now I just need to find a team....

The rain in spain...

It's raining here. What is that? It's raining? Isn't it supposed to be warm in California? This weather is really killing me.

I can't wait for it to be hot enough to go swimming in our pool and sit outside and eat dinner. We have a beautiful backyard and I want to enjoy it but it is a little hard when it is raining outside.

And now for something different.

I'm kind of having a hard time at home. I miss having my own space. I don't really have a room or a bed anymore since we moved to a new house. I don't really know where to put my stuff.

The other thing is that I don't really have friends here. I miss having my friends so close by like when I was at school. I guess I am just in kind of a bad place at the current moment so maybe I shouldn't be blogging. Well, my blogging audience, I'm sorry. It's all this blasted rain!

The everlasting job hunt

I feel like it is so hard to find a job. I am at the point again where I need to find a job but I know what it is like to have a terrible job and I really want a job that I actually like.

I have actually made some good progress today but I think I am dragging my feet because I really don't want to work for the summer. No, that's not true. I don't want to have a job I don't want to do for the summer.

Oh well, I guess we all have to suck it up and take one for the team.

It might as well be spring.

I'm healing and as each day passes, I feel a little bit better. I am very excited because I have lots of things to do once I feel well again. I have two possible job opportunities which I am trying to pursue.

However, the thing that gets me the most excited is that my mom and I are going to start a garden. I am not sure how successful we will be as gardeners but we are going to try.

The thought of home grown tomatoes, carrots and peas is so very enticing! I really hope that it works out and we actually garden well. Here's to hoping for delicious tomatoes, carrots, and peas!

I have been absent from blogging for a while which is sad because I was doing so well at updating daily. To be fair though, I have a legitimate excuse. I had my gall bladder out on Friday so I am healing and bumming around and stuff.

However, I will give you a little taste of what happened at the hospital. First, my surgery was scheduled for 7:30am so they wanted us to be at the hospital at 5:30. I flew into the San Jose Airport at 10:10pm the night before and didn't get to bed until after midnight, so the 5:30 wake up call was not so happily anticipated.

We got to the hospital and got to sit there for most of the 2 hours and do nothing. (okay, I changed into a hospital gown and booties, they took my vitals and I got my I.V. installed). Then, they wheeled me into the OR and they put me on the table. The anesthesiologist leaned over my head and said, "time for the good stuff." It was over. I don't remember anything else. WEIRD!!!

I woke up about an hour later in the post-op room and slowly came to terms with my surroundings. Shortly after coming to and talking to the nurse for a while, I was wheeled to a different room for a few hours until I accomplished my leaving tasks and then I was allowed to leave. My leaving tasks were:

- go to the bathroom
- keep down some crackers and water
- walk around
- not be in too much pain or nauseated

I accomplished the list in about 2 hours and then I went home to continue to be bored because there is not much you can do when you just had surgery.

So, to end this post, I thought I would write down a few first of this experience.
It was the first time I had:

- anesthesia
- oxygen mask
- heart monitor
- breathing tube
- these circulation booties (they went from my knee to my ankle and they tightened and release helping circulation so i don't get blood clots)
- surgery
- been in an operating room
- been wheeled around in a gurney
- been in a hospital gown and booties

Oh, I also got a souvenir water bottle! Whoohoo!!!

cuz everytime we touch I get this feeling...

So, before my story of the day, I would like to bring something up that is related to the story. People don't touch me often. I don't have a problem with people touching me (obviously if it is not inappropriate) but most people don't and I am not sure why. I assumed it was because people are generally pretty conservative when it comes to touching others no i wonder if it has something to do with me.

The reason I bring this up is that I have been visiting my friends apartment and two of the guys who live there are fairly touchy. Since it is not common for guys to put their arm around me or for them to put their hand on my knee. It was just a little surprising.

So, for the story. This is my little Icelandic Saga:

I'm in an Icelandic class this semester and I have two classmates. Yep, that's right, just two. One of them is my former roommate and the other is in my ward. I am really good friends with both of them. Since there are only three of us, class is a little different than it is in most other classes.

One day, the guy in my ward, we'll call him B-dawg, forgot his book for class. So, he scooted his desk next to mine and shared my book with me. I was in the middle of reading a sentence from the book when I felt him stroke my thigh. I immediately started to laugh and then had to refocus on the book to finish my sentence.

I finished and gave him a puzzled look. He looked back at me innocently. Our teacher and the rest of the class (aka my friend) were siting there a little confused. I looked at our teacher and I wasn't sure if i was supposed to continue reading. It turns out it was B-dawg's turn.

I tried to confront him about and he brushed me off. The next day in class he forgot his book again (okay, every time I tell this story whoever I am telling it to says, "oh, he 'forgot his book again.' I get it." with a wink. No, really, he forgot his book. We had the schedule mixed up for class, so he brought the wrong books to class that day).

Anyway, we were sharing a book and he did it again! This time, I was determined not to give a reaction and I didn't. After class, we were packing up and talking I asked him about it. He didn't really answer but then he said, "you didn't give a reaction. You liked it!" Then, he turned to our teacher and said, "Nicole's coming on to me in class."

My poor teacher didn't know what to do with himself. i laughed it off and let it go. It has happened a few times since then but it has mostly died off. I guess the moral of the story is my thighs are great for stroking ;)

I know you; I walked with you once upon a dream...

In high school I had lots of friends but I never dated anyone. This really was not an issue. I liked having friends and it seemed really irrelevant to try and date any of my friends (I did have a few crushes; I'm not devoid of feeling).

Also, I spent a lot of time in high school (and this continues in college) wondering if guys were even remotely interested in me. Well, I found out one bright summer day.

I park my car on a side street by the school. I didn't think that many people knew where my car was or what my car looked like. It turns out my "secret admirer" did. I walked to my car like usual after school one day and saw something weird on my windshield.

Well, it turns out, that there was a zip-lock bag about 1/3 filled with mini marshmallows and a note. The note read:

Nicole,
I have been watching you from afar. Your sweet spirit warms my heart.
Your secret admirer

I didn't believe it was actually from a guy. I thought it was from one of my friends playing a prank on me. I asked all my friends and none of them said they did it. I still to this day don't know who has been "watching me from afar." CREEPY!!!

School's out for the summer

Actually, school is not out for the summer but my roommate got that song stuck in my head. It's killing me!

However, that is not what I want to blog about today. I can't decide what I want to blog about. I don't think I want to talk about going away or all the sadness and I am pretty sure I don't want to talk about the little breakdown I had just recently. Hmm...

I have contemplated doing a lot of things with my blog. I am never quite sure what direction I should go in. I would never make it my "journal/diary" because there are somethings that I just don't want the whole world to know. I have thought about writing book reviews and movie reviews but I am not sure I have super defined opinions about books and movies. I am also not politically active to write political commentaries. Maybe I should start writing about all the funny stories that happen in my life. After all, I am a story girl.

Family Story #1

Okay, first story. My little sister will turn 8 this year but when she was littler, she noticed that people used air quotes. Well, she was to young to realize the true use of air quotes but she also appears to have not noticed the correct way to air quote.

So, she would use air quotes but she would use her first three fingers instead of just her first two. She would use them in sentences like "I'm going to the "'store.'"" Well, she was actually going to the store so the air quotes don't make that much sense.

She then evolved to using her middle two fingers (aka middle finger and ring finger) for her quotes, which is really awkward to do. She continued to use them improperly. It then evolved to the first three fingers on one hand and the first two fingers on the other. How that happened, I don't know. Eventually, she grew out of it (probably because she couldn't understand what they were actually used for).

Well, this week, I was hanging out and Elisa's house and I was talking with one of her roommates. I told her this story about my little sister's air quotes. Now Elisa's roommate uses awkward air quotes (either three or the two middle ones). It is pretty awesome.

Well, I think I am going to "'stop'" writing in my blog now.

I curious incident...

Something has come to my attention recently. I realized that the majority of the conversations that I have at BYU are about dating. It doesn't matter who I am talking to, we are always talking about dating. It is kind of insane. I just don't get it. I don't know what I talked about with people before I came to BYU. What has happened to me?

I think the funniest part of these last few days was that my friend told me that he finds himself talking to girls about gossipy stuff. He also mentioned that there were very few people he would really open up to. He mentioned that I was one of them. However, the majority of the time we talk about dating. It may be different but it still seems gossipy.

I have also noticed a change in myself. I am obsessed with boys. It may not be over the top and very apparent but I am. I feel like I have lost who I am because I am so obsessed with dating and getting married. I know it is important but I feel like it's all I think about and talk about. I really love going home because I feel like I become sane again. I'm coming home to sanity!

Suddenly I see...

So, girls are usually pretty self conscious; that is why we like compliments. Each girl is different and it depending on the girl, it depends how self conscious she is. I am mostly bringing this up because being a girl, I am also self conscious. Now usually, I don't think about it that much. I have a pretty good self esteem, I don't care what I look like which is why I don't usually wear make-up (although my roommates are taking me over to the dark side....)

So, I think I usually act like I don't care what people think of me but I actually think about it more than I would like. Sometimes, I am a really mean person and it makes me kind of sad when I realize that I am being mean or have been mean. So, sometimes I don't know how many people actually like me.

Last night I had a really good time over at a friend's house. We played Guitar Hero and socialized for a while. I realized that people actually like me. It is really nice knowing people actually like you, you know?

On a semi related note, I sometimes wonder how people perceive me. I am sure I don't know what people think of me because I am biased. I actually know why I make all my decisions but how does that come across when I am with other people? I love personality analysis, so sometimes I want to ask people what they really think of me.

Anyway, enough about me. Last night at my friend's house I made some really good friends and now I am kicking myself that I didn't become friends with them earlier and actually spent time doing fun things together. Oh, well. There isn't much I can do about it now except move on. *Sigh*

If we hold on together...

I know my last blog post was about how I am leaving all my friends behind but it is still something that is really weighing me down right now. Two of my friends came to visit me tonight and we had a really good time chatting for almost three hours. They also brought me peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. It really reminded me of how strong of a support group I have and how blessed I am.

I am also going to severely miss my roommates, especially the roommate I actually share a room with. We have become very close this year and I am going to miss the way she reacts to me and all of my ridiculousness. I think we have really grown a lot and learned a lot from each other. It is going to be hard to not see her for a while.

I also realized that I am really glad my roommate from last year and I are still so close. As much as I whined a lot about how I didn't have much of a social life last year, I am glad I spent so much time with my roommate instead. I don't think we would have ever become as good of friends if we hadn't talked for hours practically every night. Because of how different we are, I am pretty sure we would not have become friends without being forced to be together so much.

I was walking home with my ex-roommate and I realized that I don't really have a friend who brings out the same side in me. I am infinitely grateful that we are still friends and that we still spend time together. I think a lot of that is because we still have Icelandic that keeps us connected.

I know that after I get back from my mission, I will still have these friends even if they are not as easily accessible. I also know that I will make new friends and I will still be able to have a strong and loving support system. It is just a sort of bittersweet parting.

We're going to rock this town...

As the semester wraps up, I realize that I am really going to miss a lot of things while I am on my mission. I have known it was going to be hard to be away from my family for so long. I am going to miss them a lot. But I know my family will still be there when I get back.

I didn't realize how many people will be gone for good when I get back. The majority of my friends will graduate in a year and they will all move on while I am serving the Lord. I know this is a good thing and I want them moving on to fulfill their dreams it is just weird. It is kind of hard to take it all in.

I think the thing that makes me the most sad is that I am not investing very much time in seeing people because I am broken. I am just waiting until I can go home and have my surgery.

On a completely unrelated note, I have been watching these silent films with my roommate from last year called Judex. They are REALLY good. I think my favorite thing about silent films is that I can talk during them and I don't feel bad because I am not missing anything. They are awesome.

Guess this means you're sorry...

I remember in high school how everyone was involved in so much drama. I never really had that problem until this year. Seriously, I feel like I tried to cram all the drama I didn't have in high school into this one year of college.

First, there has been a lot of roommate drama bubbling under the surface of serenity. Some of it is just that people don't get a long. Other things are just miss communications. Some of it stems from that fact that people are non-confrontational. We have a lot of fun together but it can also be pretty bad. I guess that just comes with the territory of being a girl.

Secondly, I have a friend who was in my ward back home. We have had a...complicated relationship. It finally got to a point where I stopped talking to him. We are now in the process of rebuilding our friendship, I hope....

Thirdly, I realized that I really like this one guy a lot more than I realized. It's actually really bitey. There is only a week left in school, and then I am going home and then going on a mission. The worst part is that I could have actually done something about me liking him if I had only realized it sooner.

Oh well, I guess that's just life.

On a happy note, I got to see my really good friend today. I have missed her like crazy because we are both always so busy and she is married (aka she went to the dark side. JK Staice :) So, it was great being able to just talk to her for a while. We were always really good at just being able to talk. I'm going to miss not getting to see her for a long time.

One day more

So, I love people. I mean, I love specific people but I also love people as that collection of wonderfully different individuals who change my life with the brief moments that we talk, share and show that we love.

I bring this up because of an experience I had on the airplane yesterday. I usually don't talk much to the people I sit next to on airplanes for various reasons some of which are my fault. Yesterday I was flying to Utah from California. I sat next to this very nice man who was returning from a business trip.

We talked for the full 2 hours while we were on the flight. We talked about everything from his new grandson to missions to having general authorities in his ward. We had a great conversation and I am glad I got to spend my time learning from him. Sometimes i wonder why I don't learn more about the people around me. If I am going to be a missionary, I should learn how to start talking to people, right?

And my eyes were opened

It is curious how blind I can be sometimes. I walk through life thinking I know what is going on. Thinking I know what is right. I am glad that I go to church, listen to conference, read my scriptures and pray. Today my eyes were opened twice. I was able to see my life with new perspective.

The first was conference. It was wonderful listening to the prophets and apostles talk about the things we need to here. It reminded me of something I discovered earlier this semester. I realized that nothing gospel related will ever be addictive. It is part of our agency and no matter what, we will always have to make a conscious choice to choose the right whether that is choosing to go to the temple on a regular basis or choosing to read the scriptures daily. It will never be an "addiction."

Addictions of any kind are part of Satan's "plan." I realized that I have addictions that are getting in my way. I am not addicted to pornography or drugs but I am addicted to small things that are not bad things of themselves but they are pulling me away from the good things I could be doing. I need to remember that I can choose to be addicted or to do the things I should be doing.

The other thing I realized today was that I have been thinking about the temple in the wrong way. I am trying to prepare myself for my mission and for entering the temple so I have been spending more time studying about those things. I realized today, through study and talking to a friend of mine, that I have had the wrong perspective about the temple. The temple is a place I should want to go, which I do, but it is also a place where I will make serious covenants and I need to understand the gravity of what I am doing. I am grateful that with the Lord's help I can be ready to enter the temple when the time comes.

All at once

I have been contemplating how my grades will turn out this semester. It is unfortunate but I don't believe I will do very well in a few of my classes. I feel a little hopeless because I feel trapped. I want to do well. I want to meet my commitments but I just don't have the will power to do it.

I have a cold now. It is just one thing in a long line of things wrong with my body. I want to go into hibernation and let my body heal but I just don't have the leisure. I guess I feel like I am drowning and I don't know how to save myself.

Help!

If music be the food of love

I was in choir when I was in high school. It is one of the things I miss most about high school. I suppose I could join a choir at the Y but it wouldn't be the same. We weren't just a choir, we were family. The friends I have from choir are some of the best friends I have and today I miss them horribly.

I was looking through my music today and I found some of the recordings of the songs I sang in choir. We weren't fabulous but we were pretty dang good. As I listen to the music I realized that it has be a really long time since I have invested that much emotion into music.

It hurts terribly sometimes that high school is over. It is not that I don't love college but it is good in a different way. I will never develop the same kind of relationships with people in the same ways I did in high school. I will never have that same kind of experiences and that kills me.

I think what hurts the most is that I am a different person when I am at the Y and i don't know if that is a good thing. Why can't I be that ridiculous girl I used to be? Why do I let the stupid pressures of BYU get to me? I have lost my focus and I haven't even realized it. I want to be myself again!

And I want these words to make things right but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life.

I spent last night at a friend's house. We hadn't seen each other in a while, so it was nice to catch up. We ate Chinese food and went to Sunflower market, which is one of my favorite stores ever.

At one point that night, we began talking about self image. It is curious, because the one thing that I am not quite sure of is whether or not guys actually care about how girls look. See, it would make sense that if girls were being conditioned to want to be thin and wear make-up and specific types of clothes, that guys would also be conditioned to look for girls who follow those "rules."

However, I have also been told that guys are mostly attracted to confidence. If this is true, it would make sense that girls who follow the "rules," would be more confidant than girls who don't because they think they are looking the way guys want them to look and that confidence attracts men so the stigma is enforced.

I guess what I am really wondering is how much does appearance affect how much a guy likes you and how much of it is the confidence in who you are?

'Cuz we belong together.

I get in a really weird mood when I listen to music that is just right for the moment. This happened today. I really want to go dance right now. Or go swing on swings or something crazy and fun. It's driving me CRAZY!

Sometimes I wonder why I am not a dancer. Then I remember that I don't actually like being told how to move to music. I do think I want to take more dance classes though. I figure if i learn how to control my body better I will have more fun dancing when I am just dancing for fun.

I realized that I will always not-so-secretly hope that I will become a famous singer. I don't think I can ever give up the fact I love to act, sing and dance. There is something so magical about the creation of something expressive. I really miss that in my life. I think I need to get more involved in something....

Anyway, not that I have written a rather scattered post. I am off to dream...

But you gotta have the faith, the faith, the faith

I hate making choices. I know it is part of the whole, agency thing but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I am at a point in my life where I have SO many choices. I don't think there was ever or will ever be a time when I will have more choices than i do now. And the problem is, they are all good things.

I guess the biggest issue is a mission. I feel like I should go but I am totally scared out of my mind. Plus other things keep coming up like a study abroad to Iceland or the possibility of staying in school. I feel like I will miss out on so many things if I decide to go. I hate making choices!

Physics, friends and a math major.

It really has been a long time since I updated this. Not much is new. I have made some new friends who I hang out with a lot. I am still totally swamped with physics homework. Actually just homework in general. I am considering doing a double major in math and physics but I have to really think about that one.

I guess the thing that has been bothering me the most lately is the fact that I am being accosted on every side for not dating. The most frustrating thing about the whole dating thing is that all of the guys in my life are telling me this. Hello, instead of telling me to date, they could ask me out!

I guess I should work on that....

Love, save the empty

So, today while I was wasting time, my roommate and I found out that Peta is trying to rename fish and call them sea kittens. That's right, sea kittens. Bahahahaha! Anyway, on their petition site you can make your own sea kitten so I did. Here is princess.
You can make your own here

my love language :)

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Physical Touch

My Detailed Results:
Physical Touch:	11
Quality Time:	9
Acts of Service:	6
Words of Affirmation:	3
Receiving Gifts:	1

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Minn besti vinnur

I am trying to work on living a balanced life. This semester I am going to do all the things that I want to do. I will be proactive and stick to a schedule. We'll see how this goes but I really need to be more discipline especially since I am planning on going on a mission in august.

Besides my obvious lack of balance in my life right now, things are going well. I am super excited for most of my classes. I am already swamped with the work i have to do for my classes but I love being excited to learn.

I am so happy about my Icelandic class this semester. I think it is going to be great and I am going to learn TONS. I have already learned a lot. Plus, we just have so much fun. Well, how could we not have fun, there is three of us in the class and our teacher and we all have such a great sense of humor about the language that is trying to kick our but.

I want to update my blog more but I always get stuck on an empty blog post not knowing what exactly I should write about. Anyone have a preference?