Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?

So, I have come to a realization. This may not be something that surprised most of the people who know me but it was something that I had never realized about myself. It appears that I am very expressive even when I don't know that I am being expressive. I have had people tell me that I look scared when I didn't realize that I was scared.

I know that I have a very expressive face because of what people have told me as I have grown up but I guess I always thought that I could hide how I feel fairly well. I guess not. I guess I am more of an open book than I realized. And apparently I am very scared of a lot of things. Actually, that was something I already knew about myself.

I think the most fascinating things is to know what other people think of me. I'm not talking about what my friends and family think because they see me for the person I am. I wonder what people automatically assume about me when they first look at me. Am I pretty? Do I look friendly? Do I look snobby? Do I look like I am smart? Do I look like I am scared? Do I look stupid? The problem is that once I am close enough to someone to ask them what they thought about me, I usually don't remember what I thought and neither do they.

oh, well...

If I could make all the mountains, spell your name...

I really love this YouTube video. I think it is because right now, this song is sort of the theme song of my life and I absolutely ADORE this movie. There is something about North and South and Pride and Prejudice that gets me everytime.

Speaking of Pride and Prejudice, I have been thinking a lot about why the general male population does not like Pride and Prejudice. I am trying to figure out what makes me like it so much, but it is hard to quantify my reasoning. I think part of it is that I identify with Elizabeth. Also, I like to talk a lot and I think I feel the tention of the words.

I was talking to my friend and he said he didn't like Austen's books because he felt like nothing happened. Maybe they appeal to me because I can build things up on my own. I don't need things to happen to feel suspense, I can get that from reading the words.

Any ideas why many girls love the book but a lot of guys hate it?

I wanted to write you a verse....

I love to read. I espeically love the summer because I get to read more than I usually do during the year. I decided to write a post listing all the books I want to read this summer because I do better when I have a list I can add to and check things off with.

Also, devoted readers, I LOVE reading suggestions. So, if you know of books you think I should read, let me know and I will submit them to the reading council ;)

Books to read this summer (in no particular order):

1. Book of Mormon (maybe in Icelandic as well)
2. North and South by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell
3. Mansfeild Park by Jane Austen
4. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
5. Emma by Jane Austen
6. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
7. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
8. The Book Theif by Markus Zusak
9. Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens
10. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorn
11.  The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
12. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
    
13. Animal Farm by George Orwell
    
14. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
    
15. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
    
16. Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
    
17. The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
    
18. Notre-Dame of Paris (The Hunchback of Notre-Dame) by Victor Hugo
    
19. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
    
20. A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
    
21. Chocolat by Joanne Harris
22. The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

Books read: 0

Books to read: 22

Most of these books are from the challenge I took last year and I never got around to reading. Let's see if that is different this year. I would REALLY love suggestions though.

Suddenly I see, this is what I want to be!

I haven't written in a few days. I was doing so well. I have had a tab with an empty post open for quite a few days but I haven't thought of anything good to say.

When i grabbed my scriptures today, all the stuff in them fell out. As I was putting all the little inserts and handouts back in my scriptures, I realized that I have a lot of stuff from YW that has to do with going to the temple. I saw this stuff and realized the goal of going to the temple was soon going to be a reality. I have been super excited about this milestone in my life but it was weird to think about how long I have been "preparing" myself to achieve this goal.

Anyway, I have a part time job working at my parent's restaurant but I won't start working there until after I return from New York. I am TOTALLY excited for this trip. I am nostly excited to have tons of new pictures to choose from for my new profile picture on facebook. Yeah, I know, I'm a dork. Oh, and my cousin is getting married. WHOOHOO!!!

Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone.

I have been whining on my blog a lot about how much I miss my friends in Provo. Well, things are looking up for you my dedicated readers. Today, I spent about ten hours with a friend of mine. It was really nice to catch up and talk about all the things we have never talked about.

We also went and saw the Star Trek movie. It was REALLY good. I totally recommend it to anyone. It is not just a movie for those who are Star Trek lovers. Everyone will enjoy this film. I found that it was suspenseful and full of surprises without being too dirty or crude.

On a totally unrealated note, I was thinking about how hard it was for me to come home this year from school and it gave me more perspective on how hard it is for missionaries to return home. That doesn't make me very excited to come home from the mission I'm not even on. WEIRD!

White and nerdy

Sometimes I am such a nerd. I really want to go see star trek the new movie. It looks really good and it has gotten really good ratings. So, hopefully I will get to see it soon.

Spurred by the desire to see the Star Trek movie, I started learning about the Star Trek series. I am now in the process of watching the first Star Trek series. Yeah, I know, I am such a nerd. Well, I guess it is more surprising that I am not a closet trekie. My dad watched star trek and my dad and I watched Stargate and Dr Who together. I guess this was inevitable.

Well, if anyone cares, you can watch all of Star Trek: the original series on CBS. I think they are remastered or something. Anyway, I am not sure how I feel about them yet. I mean, they are no Stargate (hee hee hee). Actually, they are really fun to watch because it is "in the future" but the tools are archaic looking compared to the tools of sci-fi movies and tv shows today. I know it is to be expected but I still think it is funny.

I am not sure if I will be converted to a trekie but I think it is to late for me as far as becoming a nerd. Oh well, I like being nerdy. It means I can say things that are really nerdy and not feel weird about it.

All of the people start to rush, start to rush by...

I really don't have the energy to think of something and write about it today, so I am going to do this "survey." Sorry if you don't care. It is more for me to see what cool stuff I have done. I've bolded all the things that I have done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (I don't think our roommate band counts)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dippin
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (I've been to Sweeden, I'm counting that)
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing 
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. One cavity or less

What a to do to die today at a minute or two to two.

I was going to write my passing out (in light of my apparent medical theme) story on here today, but it is going to be a SUPER long post and I don't really want to right now. Instead, I will write a whole lot of nonsense today.

Right now, I am looking for good Bollywood movies. I really want to find this one movie that I saw pieces of at my friend's apartment. I can't find it. I don't remember the name all I know is that there was a guy who went to a school for boys and he fell in love with the schoolmaster's daughter. Something happens and she dies. He leaves but comes back later and tricks the schoolmaster into letting him teach at the school. The teacher starts to stir things up.

That's as far as I got. I REALLY want to know the title so I can find it. If anyone has any idea, let me know.

I really don't want to get a job. No, I really don't want to keep looking for a job. Finding a job is hard and since I haven't had the greatest jobs the past few summers, it is really hard for me to find the motivation to go and find a job. Oh, well...

My poor little head...

I am a pretty healthy person, but I have had quite a few strange medical experiences. Last night, I was talking with my family and one of my stories came up and I thought I would share it.

It was Thanksgiving quite a few years ago. We were having a big Thanksgiving dinner at our house and I think we were having a dutch oven thanksgiving dinner. All the kids were playing outside (it's November in California so of course we were playing outside).

My friend, Megan, and I were fighting with my sister for some reason. We went out to the front yard and my sister locked us out. We knew we could get back into the house if we simply hopped the fence. I was a lot shorter then and hoping fences is not really my strongest suit.

So, we went over to the side of the house by the fence and obviously noticed that I wasn't going to be able to get over the fence without some sort of step to help me up. I noticed some bricks around the base of the little palm tree in our yard and decided that I would use the bricks to get up.

BAD idea. It turns out, the palm tree had grown around the bricks and from what I can tell, the tree had actually incorporated the brick into itself. So, I was sitting there trying to detach the brick from the tree and I leaned in to get better leverage and the tree decided to attack. One of the palm leaves decided it would be fun to stick itself into my head, so it did.

My head started bleeding (it really was a minor injury) but since I freak out when I see blood, I started freaking out. I ran to the door and started banging trying to get someone to let me in. According to my sister, she was inside and my mom asked her who was at the door. She replied that i was at the door and then my mom asked if I was okay. My sister said yes and walked away.

Eventually, my mom answered my door banging and I was bandaged up. I was fine and I don't even think that I have a scar from it. However, how many people can say they have been stabbed by a palm tree? (okay, maybe a lot more than I think)

I guess the moral of this story is that I am smart enough to get myself in trouble.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for Ice Cream!

I don't date much and I have never had a boyfriend. It's not a big deal to me but it is to some of the people in my life.

I have this really good friend with whom I went to high school. She has also never had a boyfriend. We would friend-fight about it all the time. So, we made a bet. We bet that the other person would get a boyfriend first. The loser had to get ice cream for the winner.

Well, I WON!!! I got my ice cream last night and got to meet my friend's boyfriend. It was delicious. The best part of the whole deal is that my friend told her boyfriend that she had this bet going and that she wasn't sure if she wanted to be his girlfriend. He said, "well, I'll pay for her ice cream." That's how he won her :)

The thing is, I am not sure if I really got the better deal....

Girls are so silly

I am sure this is not news to anyone but I thought I would state it again. Here's a little back story. I like to read. I read most anything. There is only one book that I absolutely hated and didn't finish and I think I should go back and read it again.

Anyway, the books of choice right now in my household are cheesy LDS romance novels. Since I am lazy and we have two shelves full of them I end up reading a few when I am home. Plus, they are so easy to read I get through them in no time.

I was reading one of these books today and I started going crazy because the main girl is so silly and because these books are so unrealistic. Maybe I am just as silly as other girls are and I am trying to pretend like I am not, however, I get frustrated when these girls assume things and get themselves all worked into a tizzy when nothing is wrong in the first place.

Secondly, these books are what single girls run to because they are full of romance and love but that is so not real life. There is no guy out there who always brings chocolates to a girl every time he sees her. As great as that would be, I would feel really silly if a guy gave me presents all the time and i just acted like a silly girl and freaked out about everything.

I hope this post doesn't sound bitter. I just think that a lot of what is wrong about relationships and marriage comes from unrealistic expectations. It kills me a little that people get divorced after only being married a few years over silly things. Just a reminder to everyone, marriage is NOT a solution and it is NOT easy.

If marriage were easy it would not have such great rewards. It is the greatest challenge in this life which is why it has the greatest reward in the life to come. Doesn't that make sense?

Why haven't I done these?

I found this in my email. I don't know why I haven't done this before. I am a little sad I didn't remember about this email because I think my roommates this year would have been good participants this semester. My favorite are the last three. Hmmm...where can I get traffic signs?

How to Confuse your Roommate.

1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."

2. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.

3. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug the toaster in. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire-safety hazards.

4. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going away to "find yourself." Leave, and come back in about ten minutes. If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man to find.

5. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.

6. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."

7. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.

8. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.

9. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

10. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If he/she refuses, insist that he/she do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more." Ü

Just keep swimming...

I was watching the amazing race a few nights ago and one of the challenges was a choice between swimming a 400 relay with your teammate (aka a 200 each) or doing synchronized diving. What surprised me the most about this episode was how afraid of the water one of the participants was. That is so bizarre to me.

I have grown up loving to swim. When I was little we lived near my great uncle and every night during the summer we would swim in his pool and sometimes eat over there. I love the water! In fact, for most of my life I have secretly wanted to be a mermaid.

That love never died which is why I played water polo in high school. Even today, my favorite form of exercise is to swim. I can't wait for it to be warm enough for me be able to swim in my parent's pool this summer.

I have also decided what I should have been doing all my life. I want to learn how to do synchronized swimming. It involved my two vary favorite things, water and theatre/dance. How much more perfect could that be?

Now I just need to find a team....

The rain in spain...

It's raining here. What is that? It's raining? Isn't it supposed to be warm in California? This weather is really killing me.

I can't wait for it to be hot enough to go swimming in our pool and sit outside and eat dinner. We have a beautiful backyard and I want to enjoy it but it is a little hard when it is raining outside.

And now for something different.

I'm kind of having a hard time at home. I miss having my own space. I don't really have a room or a bed anymore since we moved to a new house. I don't really know where to put my stuff.

The other thing is that I don't really have friends here. I miss having my friends so close by like when I was at school. I guess I am just in kind of a bad place at the current moment so maybe I shouldn't be blogging. Well, my blogging audience, I'm sorry. It's all this blasted rain!